July 31
So here you are, stuck in old school proper British Autumn-In-July while all your so-called friends are getting heatstroke and fleeing like panicked vermin as the flames lick ever closer to their all-inclusives, or so you fondly hope - but what to do, where to go with your FOMO when their insta feeds show em alive tanned and well in some unravaged waterpark? Why, hasten along to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH of course, where you can let your weltschmerz, your ennui, your schadenfreude, your angst, your seemingly bottomless chagrin all simply melt away like that pathetic antarctic ice covered in those welfare-addicted disempowered polar bears and deadbeat penguins thanks to the blazing heat emanating from those twin solar flares currently manifesting as Luke “Tipping Point” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Prepare For The Arrival Of The Dark Planet Niburu” Thomas (drms) as they lay out a whole heap of musical good vibes for all, just a big ol escalator of hot licks and cool grooves that you can just climb aboard and ascend, ever upwards, smoothly aloft leaving all your petty cares in a crumpled heap behind you… I’ll be there doing something or other on bass, Abdul The Gesticulator will be ruling the block, the Bee’s team will be poised and ready with the good stuff, esteemed guests may drop in to do their thing.. as Venus clocks off and Jupiter takes over the night shift, the crickets still sing in the darkness upon the hill, something is happening, it’s coming, this isn’t it, this is the waiting… are you ready?
July 24
Imagine another world, free of care, a world of peace and justice for all, where no-ones holiday ends in a desperate sprint to the beach as the sky burns red, where sun shines benignly down upon Carl Cox’s beach gigs, where our elected leaders are calm and wise and would never ever use climate change as a political football to kick in each other’s stupid faces.. well, that’s not happening any time soon, but JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH is only minutes away, and bar any Niburu-size unknown unknowns it’s happening for sure, baby, so drop whatever petty futile bullsh*t you seem to have inadvertently got yerself tangled up in - unsatisfactory gf or bf or whatever, financial worries, so-called “work”, radical online-facilitated extremism, football, innovative electronica, the Threads bore-fest, whatevs - drop it all and hasten your weary aging bloodsack along to the storefront under the neon sign, thru the swinging door and feel young again thanks to the tireless efforts of man like the twin ying-yang of Luke “Oppenheimer” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Barbie” Thomas (drms) as they do the do and lay out yards of the real stuff, hot licks and cool grooves to remind you that this isn’t all there is… I’ll be there as per, and so will you, and them, and them as well, and we’ll keep the darkness at bay for a while longer, come down n grok on this, it’ll be a thing, better than not being a thing.
July 17
Don’t be a loser all your life! There are a range of exciting new job opportunities to replace your current doomed employment scenario, from Hotel Arson (freelance only) to Threads Content Creator (blandness expert) to Pitiful Servant To Our Robot Overlords (AI Novel-writing division - soon to add music generation!), all potential ways for you to get one over on your rivals in the Battle For Life, so pull on your ragged trousers and get along to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where you can savour yet again the delights of a fully non-digitised meatspace ambient experience, basking in the emotional and actual warmth generated by your fellow bloodsacks as they get down and get ready to the magical musical outpourings of those tireless philanthropists Luke “T-1000” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Skynet” Thomas (drms) laying out another stairway to the stars of bop-to-blues-to-swing-to-groove-to-whatevs to make you feel like there IS a crock of gold somewhere out there waiting just for you, something to make you feel that it’s all been worth the hassle, the bleakness of the grey dawn, the empty endless terror of the night, the pitiless hollow ringing of the noonday sun, the crawling minutes, the loneliness… click your heels and say there’s no place like home, we’ll all be there doing our thing - the transplendent ascended beings of the Bee’s Team, the badmashes in their jacked up whips, Abdul King Of The Block, me grappling with the bass yet again, the pasty faced denizens of the night, even some special guests come to blow their horns and do their thing..the heat is on, so don’t sit at home choking on smoke and dreaming of the Tay Tay tickets that will never be yours, don’t get down in the dumps, get up with it, feel the vibe, it’s all still there, the riches, the riches.
July 10
Festival burnout got you? Nile Roger’s endearing grin no longer gladdens? Mega Indie band stadium reunions no longer stirring the smouldering embers of those irretrievable fires of youth? Lager in a plastic glass, silent disco, camping, wristbands, Goan fish curry, Brand New Heavies - all these things simply elicit a jaded sigh of ennui? You need JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH to refresh your sticky sweaty overheated undernourished sense of the immanent immensity of everything, the limitless possibilities trembling on the edge of visible light, voices pitched just above or below the audible frequency whispering messages you know are meant for you, patterns in the skies and the flight of the butteflies up on the hill, codes emerging from the whir and creak of the crickets in the long grass, under the pitiless skies of noon… all that magic just waiting to be discovered, with man like Luke “Barbie” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Ken” Thomas (drms) as your guides as they create a glittering stairway of blues-to-bop-to-whatevs for you to climb up towards the stars, my refried friend, assisted by me on the bass, plus whatever golden entities shimmer in out of the mystery of the greasy echoing streets to come and sit in and do their thing… don’t waste your time glued to the twin binfires of twitter and/or threads waiting to see which BBC presenter will be the next to anxiously post pics of themselves on an entirely blameless not-at-all-suspended-from-work holiday, or whether Elon will bitchslap Zuck, or what pathetic thing the Tories will do next, or whatever … who cares? Music is life, so come and get some, we’ve got it, come and get it.