Dec 27th
As you navigate that strange calendrical perineum between the wholesome child-like magic of Christmas and the sordid adult excess of New Years Eve, as your socials feed devolves into a mess of end-of-year humblebragging, seasonal vegan anguish and the usual libertarian loudmouths, is there a hole in your soul that cheese and flashing LED strings can no longer fill? Join with the nation to breathe a collective sigh of relief as we announce that JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH will be following the science and continuing as scheduled tonight, thus permitting those fabled enablers of the good times Luke “Bedford Falls” Rattenbury (gtr) and special guest whizzkid Joe Edwards (drms) to get up and do their thing, get into it, man, movin’ and doing it, like an all-ages-appropriate machine, spreading a message of goodwill, hot licks and cool grooves for all mankind… I’ll be doing something or other on bass, the Bee’s team will be standing by in the scented shadows behind the well-stocked bar with libations of the good stuff to ease the passage of time, various emissaries from the distant kingdoms may swing by to sit in and do their thing, it’ll be a stone groove… as the troops mass on the frozen frontier, cryptos ricochet around like ping pong balls, Bozza grovels pleading at the feet of the worst sort of Tory w*nker while Sajid does his Shrek-meets-Nosferatu schtick once again to cover for him, Sir Kier looks earnest and worried, our Celtic neighbours bravely and decisively move to table service only, and the whole shebang teeters on the brink of the year’s turning, why not forsake the chance to watch another 4 hours of the Beatles pissing around back when times were simpler and instead grab yer axe down off the shelf and come and join us, one more time for this time around… all together now…
Dec 13th
Darkness sweeps over the land, a sickly wind sighing in over the compromised downland under the horrible stars and wrapping you its plague-laden breath, while far away in the expensively refurbed corridors of power the usual cavalcade of dismal goons scramble to cover their own backs as disaster approaches.. but don’t get mad, get even and get down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where it’ll be a horse of a different colour thanks to the unyielding energies of Luke “Breakfast Of Champions” Rattenbury (gtr) and special guest hooligan Tristan “T-Bone” Banks (drms) burning with a hard gem-like flame to dispel any lingering gloomy-ass bullsh*t and get you back on the good foot with their matchless energy and sheer musical good vibrations… I’ll be doing my utmost on bass as per, various seasonally disenfranchised waifs and strays may blow in out of the underwhelming night to sit in and help us light a fire and keep the shadows at bay, so leave your busy lil newsfeed and its tireless trickle of angry misinformation, extricate yourself from the slough of festive dread, rise above the quickening flood of cancellations like Lewis H soaring on an updraught of good sportsmanship and join the throng, zoomers and boomers, edgelords and tradwives, freaks and monsters and anyone else trudging along the greasy pavements to the end of the night, drop in for hang, it’ll be very.