Nov 29th
Is it that time already? Dig out your Joker facemask, cancel your skiing trip, try and get interested in livestreams, remember how to operationalise your Millenium Falcon zoom wallpaper, pin your gig tickets on the fridge and go for another frickin walk?? Not while JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH is still alive and kicking, bub, cos as long as man like Luke “Phi Delta Kappa” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Operating Thetan” Thomas (drms) are still un-isolated and fully operational we’ll be delivering up monster portions of blues-to-bop-to-swing-to whatever and spreading some highly transmissible good vibrations to all… as your bot-ridden socials feed oozes out tides of mucilaginous misinformation to pollute your noble confounded spirit, as all around you the best lack all conviction while the worst are full of passionate bullshit, as Venus and Jupiter begin their descent below the horizon, out beyond the hopeful windfarm into the freezing blackness of the tragic ocean, as Boris deflates like a gaudy punctured balloon,grab yer axe down off the shelf, venture out under the teethgrindingly self-consciously hip Xmas lights and come and join us, let’s keep the darkness at bay, it’ll be a trip.
Nov 22nd
Do you ever feel like it’s just too much? The FUD, the FOMO, the endless pump n’ dump of the chaotic mediated livestream that you used to call your life? Will you make like jolly Bozza and retreat into the reassuringly 2-D verities of Peppa Pig World, will you howl at the moon, will you lapse into incoherent conspirituality, will you coweringly await the final O-Ring Failure? Don’t do any of that, git along to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH instead, because if you do you’ll be treated to man like Luke “Zero-Days” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Oh-My-Days” Thomas (drms) as, burning always with a hard gem-like flame, they lay out some prime cuts of hot licks and cool grooves and generally maintain this ecstasy through the medium of bop-to-blues-to-swing-to-whatever just for the sheer hell of it…. I’ll be doing whatevs on bass as per and a selection of local heroes will be swinging by in their burnished armour and polished greaves and, laying aside their plumed helmets upon the well-stocked bar under the watchful eyes of the Bees Team sylphs and naiads, will be busting out some sick manoeuvres on their mighty instruments… if you’re lonesome tonight, if you’re full of piss and vinegar, if you’re high on your own supply, if you’re mad as hell and just can’t take it any more, don’t give up, don’t turn your back on love, Sailor Ripley, stop watching the stats as they rise and fall, switch off your busy bot-ridden feed, grab yer axe down off the shelf and come and come join us, we’ll have a time.
Nov 15th
Does your spirit soar, unfettered, like a rainbow-tattooed dolphin covered in inspirational quotes leaping and laughing through the sewage-filled seas? Or are you crushed by life and unable to move from your disappointing sofa, doomscrolling in front of Netflix, sighing into your tuaca and weeping silently into your Uber eats? Either way, you need to cut that shit out right now and get your bad self down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where we’ll be keeping it hyperreal thanks to the special international guest artists Paul “One Inch Punch” Richards (gtr) and Angus “The Velvet Fog” Bishop (drms) as they join forces to create a unique stochastic process event of improbably hot grooves, cool licks and general musical excellence guaranteed to get you vibing right here on the regular Cartesian plane or in any higher-dimensional Euclidean space you care to inhabit… I’ll be involved in some capacity on bass, a randomised sample of special guests will be blown in through the welcoming portal on the winds of probability all fresh and ready to do their thing, the room will be fully stocked with vibe in defiance of any etherial supply chain issues, outside the spice demons may be shuffling past with their symmetric random walk and the damp chilly air may be full of the debris of unrealised martingales and malignant particles of unrevealed gain-of-research horrors, far away across the dark hillsides sleaze may fester unchecked, Bozza may leer and Kier may crumple his face into an earnest worried frown, all manner of internet dogs may delight to bark and bite, all manner of unnecessary stuff that you didn’t ask for and don’t need may be trying to lay it's boring shizz on you, but here in the scented twilight we’ll have the good stuff going on and all will be well as long as we all just keep believing…
Nov 8th
Autumn is here, season of arson and sectarian pyrotechnics, but once the thrill of bangs and flashes and anti-Papist parades wears off, how will you reconcile yourself to the inevitability of the waning year, presaging as it does your own inescapable demise? Why, by getting your bad self down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH, of course - cos where else will you find man like Luke “Stepping Razor” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Cash Is King” Thomas (drms), abetted by me on bass, laying out such a cornucopia of dazzling swing-to-bop-to-blues-to-whatever delights that you’re guaranteed to banish that post-Samhain downer feeling without the need to recourse to any form of wickerwork-based human sacrifice and regain your faith in the consolations of symmetry and geometry against the wild spinning of Fortuna’s wheel.. make like Hroswitha and dig on some perfect numbers to keep the barbarian from the gates, even though the the air may be heavy with the cloying stench of rotting pumpkins inviting the inevitable comparisons with the odour of sickly sleaze wafting off jolly Bozza and his crooked lil chums, even though elsewhere the drinks may be spiked and your newsfeed may be awash with wild rumour and evil intent and ignorance, even though plague and lust may stalk unchecked through the land, wasting and ravaging, here in the velvet darkness the music will act as a shelter from the storm and all will be well….. your life is changing. You can feel it. Time to grab yer axe down off the shelf and come and join us.
Nov 1st
Time to wipe the goth makeup from your face, put your fishnets back into the cupboard and drag yourself away from the annual festival of sugar-crazed kids and sexy adult zombies and back into … what exactly? Your place in the metaverse is reserved OK but all the cool avatars are taken, and you can’t afford the NFTs since your crypto crashed, so how will you keep engaged til the Zuck says go? Transport your physical envelope to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH and revive your flagging interest in our shared embodied temporality cos we’ll be setting targets for reduced emissions of ennui and making firm pledges to increase our commitments to a sustainable blend of hot licks and cool grooves thanks to men like Luke “Renegade Master” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Ill Behaviour” Thomas (drms) as they come back once again to set up a welcoming web of pure 100% proof musical good vibrations as a barrier to the howling sea of bullsh*t assailing us upon all sides…. they’ll assisted in some measure by me on the COVID-free bass, plus an array of mystery guests of all shapes and sizes and degrees of commitment to beanies and facial hair will be contributing their finest creative efforts, the velvet shadows behind the well-stocked bar will be alive with promise thanks to the tireless ministrations of the supernaturally talented Bee’s team, the air will be filled with emanations of the purest spiritual osmium, so come in out of the damp blustery darkness where the cars crawl past all stuffed with eyes and street lights share their hollow glow, join us and let the thing with feathers banish the funeral in your brain, it’ll be very.